Vying
for Parents' Time:
Pets Remain a Top Priority
as the Family Grows
By Susan Bard Hall
When my husband learned he had become a grandfather, he shared this advice with his son. "Remember, she moved in with you. You didn't move in with her."
The same can be said about babies and pets. Much has been written about readying the family pet for the arrival of the first born, to ensure that the growing family continues to get along as well as when there were no children. But what preparations are necessary to ensure a smooth transition and to make sure that our furry family members continue to receive the attention and affection they have come to expect and so richly deserve when a second, or third, or even more children vie for Mom and Dad's time? What suggestions can those in similar shoes share so that no one suffers or feels neglected during these changing times?
Fred was two-years-old when Cathy and Don Torpy's first child was born. Now the proud parents of a daughter and three sons, including twin boys, Don is insistent that Fred deserves the respect he received before they started their family.
"Don tells the kids that Fred is the oldest, albeit the smallest, and he deserves respect," shared Cathy, who is a stylist at Maxine Salon in downtown Chicago three days a week. "Fred was here first."
Cathy recalls how she was Fred's primary caregiver until she became pregnant with their first and her husband took over some responsibilities such as feeding and litter-box changing to help lighten her workload. That role reversal also nurtured Don's feelings that Fred not receive any less love just because they were about to become "people" parents.
Nowadays, Fred has the best of both worlds. Since Don works evenings, Fred has company when he catnaps during the day. And once the kids are tucked in at night, Fred has Cathy's undivided attention.
"When the kids are in bed, Fred hangs out with me," Cathy said.
Deb M. Eldredge of Vernon, NY, who is a pet owner, parent, as well as practicing veterinarian, offered both her personal and professional opinions. She said that respecting the pet's "place and time" is of paramount importance. That means retaining a pet's long-established routine, including favorite things; involving children in "age-appropriate" activities; and ensuring that pets are left alone when they obviously want their quiet time.
